sports & skirts

In approximately one hour I start my first ever Fantasy Football draft. 

I remember a time when I absolutely despised fantasy sports. The very idea of my boyfriend staring at the computer screen and television simultaneously for hours on end would make my stomach turn and my head boil. As a girl, fighting with football for your loved-one’s attention is, well, a lost cause. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Thanks to my newfound understanding and love of sports, I’ve joined a league this year. I did a mock draft earlier today and it went REALLY well, but I’m assuming I was in a room full of morons or really lucky… because the likelihood of my real draft producing the same results is slim to none. Oh well *fingers crossed*.

The boys in my league are betting for me to lose. I may not be a football expert (yet), but I’m a fast learner, a phenomenal studier, and I’ll sucker punch you in the balls before I’ll ever willingly take a loss. 

My notes are ready. My computer is ready. BRING IT THE F ON. 

The Miami Heat can take their new dream team and their big offer$ and shove it, cuz Derek Fisher isn’t going ANYWHERE. Although the superstar guard listened to what other teams were willing to give, Derek has announced that he will continue on with the team that’s shaped him into the athlete he is today. Fisher has won 5 NBA Championships in his 11 seasons with the Los Angeles Lakers and, despite the less-than-motivating numbers they’re offering, has decided to stick with the team. A professional athlete not jumping at the chance of a higher salary? Lakers fans, if that’s not devotion I don’t know what is!

Fisher cites Kobe Bryant as a main reason to stay put. “He and I have played together for 11 seasons, came into the league together as kids, and [he] has been loyal to me even when others had doubts,” says Fisher of his “brother” and MVP, Bryant. Seems loyalty is big with Fisher, whose new contract keeps him in SoCal (and OUT of So-Beach) for at least the next three years… and maybe forever. No burning of Fisher jerseys in L.A. anytime soon! We’re happy you’re sticking around!

Work has been pretty busy leaving little-to-no time to post much of anything. In case you haven’t watched any kind of television or read the news, here’s an update on the past week in the sports world…

• Spain takes the 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP victory, beating the Netherlands in overtime 1-0. Paul the octopus (who has predicted the past 7 German world cup wins) accurately pegged Spain as the winner. Paul will now retire from his psychic predictions and return to his comfortable job of “making children laugh” at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany.
• LeBron James announced his “big decision” to move to the Miami Heat and an uproar of angry fans and coaches express their disappointment in Cleveland. James joins a team of all-stars, taking the stage as “The Big Three” with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh at a South Beach celebration of the team’s newest members. Lakers, watch out.
• Yankee fans are pre-maturely excited at the prospect of having extraordinary pitcher Cliff Lee added to their roster, but are disappointed (after inaccurate announcements are posted on reliable sports sites) to find he’s been traded to the Texas Rangers instead. There’s always next year!

Photo credit: NBC Sports

Things have been, to put it lightly, SUPER HECTIC at work and at home between freelance and family visiting so I haven’t had much time to post at all! Here are some highlights in case you weren’t watching (my dad was in town- so I was definitely tuned in)…

• In golf, Graeme McDowell takes the trophy at the U.S. Open in Pebble Beach where familiar faces (Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson) struggled to perform on what’s known to be one of the hardest courses to play. McDowell is the first European in 40 years to take the title.  
• The Los Angeles Lakers take the championship, once again, beating the Boston Celtics 83-79 last Thursday evening. Kobe Bryant takes the MVP Award as the NBA season comes to a close. 
• The world is all abuzz as the USA Soccer team scores the “winning” goal against Slovenia. A horrible call made by FIFA referee Koman Coulibaly (who is consequently not invited back for future games) discounted the third point made by the American team, citing… well, nothing really. The score wasn’t fixed, but you can bet America will be playing for revenge as they take on Algeria tomorrow morning.

aaaaand that’s all I have for now. xoxo kids.

The University of Southern California is known for, among other things, their fantastic athletic program. Each year, high-school athletes from around the country work hard at their game AND their grades to perhaps land a chance to attend this prestigious school which, in recent years, seems to BREED pro-athletes (think Reggie Bush, Mark Sanchez, Pete Carroll, OJ Mayo). Due to an investigation led by the NCAA over “special treatment” and perks given to star college athletes (Bush, Carroll, and Mayo, to be exact), USC is being “made an example” that these kinds of violations will not be taken lightly in the collegiate athletic program.

Those involved in the situations in question have moved on with their lives and technically “can’t be touched”. They have their contracts and their Heisman in tact… but now the future of the Trojans will have to pay. With punishments including (but not limited to) revoking of titles and championships, reduced scholarships, and a 2-year ban from post-season participation… it seems the newer generations are shit out of luck.

I don’t know about you, but the fact that any educational association finds this kind of punishment valid to “teach a lesson” is APPALLING. Yeah, so maybe they fucked up, but that has nothing to do with the high-school class of 2010 who endured 4 years of two-a-days to get into USC for football. The school is appealing this overly-cruel punishment, but if the NCAA doesn’t change their decision USC players will have to just play their best games and shine, for the first time in awhile, without the limelight.

(photo credit: NY Times)

So it took like, 49 years, but good things are worth the wait, right? The Chicago Blackhawks would agree. For the first time since 1969, they get to bring home the Stanley Cup from Philadelphia after beating the Flyers 4-3 during last night’s playoff game. The team members passed their gigantic trophy around as a sea of orange watched disappointedly and boo-ed. Boo all you want Philly peeps, it’s not going to change the fact that the names Kane and Toews (oddly pronounced “Tayves”) will be engraved in the biggest trophy of the pro-sports world. Congrats on your win, Blackhawks!

p.s. Sorry I’ve been MIA, readers! I was out of town and then out of the country for awhile, but I am back and ready to report ;-)

“Times like this, you are going to realize he is human,” Derek Jeter (loooove) said of his teammate, Mariano Rivera, after he failed to save his team from a loss against the Minnesota Twins at Sunday’s game. Twin Jason Kubel hit a grand slam pitched by legendary the closer with bases loaded, winning the game 6-3 against the Bronx Bombers. So what? Mistakes happen, right? Well usually, yes, but Mo hasn’t given up a grand slam since 2002. Kubel’s was one of only FOUR Grand Slam’s pitched by Rivera… EVER. This was also the first allowed by Rivera this year- he’s had 11 scoreless innings. Oh well, so Mo’s not perfect. But, judging from his record, he’s still been pretty effin’ close.

LeBron James may have played his final home game with the Cavaliers in Cleveland last night, exiting the court to a chorus of “boos” after a 32-point loss to the Celtics. James has been a Cav for seven years now and is, for the most part, a rockstar on the court. However, fans and colleagues are not forgiving for the long-haul record- they are thinking RIGHT NOW. And right now, LeBron, you messed up.

Championships are a big deal- when you show up to play and simply aren’t yourself, the fans will throw you to the wolves (or, in this case, whatever team will have you next). Let’s hope LeBron is immune to the sound of negative cheering as he takes on game six in Boston- the only opportunity left to redeem himself. Win or lose it’s going to be okay, LeBron. Sports fans are highly emotional and next season someone will love you again.

Photo courtesy gossiboocrew.com

Why, a ticket out of jail, of course! The 51 year-old former Giant and 1986 NFL MVP, Lawrence Taylor, has been charged with 3rd degree rape and patronizing a prostitute. Yeah, we hear about this stuff all the time in the sports world, but this time the girl is only 16 years old. The ex-linebacker, who has publicly struggled with drug problems in the past, allegedly paid $300 to have sex with the young girl at a hotel in Ramapo, NY- a claim he and his representatives are denying.

Ladies, don’t get yourselves into these kinds of situations. LT is a big man. You probably needed $300 enough to whore yourself out, then found out it was an NFL star you could make more off of. Shame on you. (I DO have sympathy for those who are forcefully victimized, but in situations like this I find it less-than-likely)

Athletes, stop doing stupid shit.